How to Understand Professors

When John H put up a "Guide to Effective Scientific Communiction," this pointed out the need for any students out there to have a handle on how us profs talk. This will give you the basics:

What the Professor Really Means
by J. Timothy Petersik
from the Chronicle of Higher Education

Professor says . . .
You’ll be using one of the leading textbooks in the field.
Professor means . . .
"I used it as a graduate student"

Professor says . . .
If you follow these few simple rules, you’ll do fine in this course.
Professor means . . .
"If you don’t need any sleep you’ll do fine in this course."

Professor says . . .
The gist of what the author is saying is what’s most important.
Professor means . . .
"I don’t understand the details either."

Professor says . . .
Various authorities agree that . . .
Professor means . . .
"My hunch is that . . . "

Professor says . . .
The answer to your question is beyond the scope of this class.
Professor means . . .
"I don’t know."

Professor says . . .
You’ll have to see me during my office hours for a thorough answer to your question.
Professor means . . .
"I don’t know."

Professor says . . .
In answer to your question, you must recognize that there are several disparate points of view.
Professor means . . .
"I really don’t know."

Professor says . . .
Today we are going to discuss a most interesting topic.
Professor means . . .
"Today we are going to discuss my dissertation."

Professor says . . .
Unfortunately, we don’t have time to consider all of the people who have made contributions to this field.
Professor means . . .
"I disagree with what roughly half of the people in this field have said."

Professor says . . .
We can continue this discussion outside of class.
Professor means . . .
Either 1) "I’m tired of this—let’s quit" or 2) "You’re winning the argument—let’s quit."

Professor says . . .
Today, we’ll let a member of the class lead the discussion. It will be a good educational experience.
Professor means . . .
"I stayed out too late last night and didn’t have time to prepare a lecture."

Professor says . . .
Any questions?
Professor means . . .
"I’m ready to let you go."

Professor says . . .
The implications of this study are clear.
Professor means . . .
"I don’t know what it means either."

Professor says . . .
The test will be 50-questions multiple choice.
Professor means . . .
"The test will be 60-questions multiple guess, plus three short-answer questions (1,000 words or more) and no one will score above 55%."

Professor says . . .
The test scores were generally good.
Professor means . . .
"Some of you managed a C+."

Professor says . . .
The test scores were a little below my expectations.
Professor means . . .
"Where was the party last night?"

Professor says . . .
Some of you could have done better.
Professor means . . .
"Everyone flunked."

Professor says . . .
Before we begin the lecture for today, are there any questions about previous material?
Professor means . . .
"Has anyone opened the book yet?"

Professor says . . .
According to my sources . . .
Professor means . . .
"According to the guy who taught this class last year . . ."

Professor says . . .
It’s been very rewarding to teach this class.
Professor means . . .
"I hope they get someone else to teach it next year."

Originally posted at Here We Stand